In 2005, when Tennessee officials investigated LIA for dispensing psychotropic medicine and treating minors without a license, it seemed certain the place would be shut down. Unlike his clients, Smid was not isolated from the world. Tom Otteson, another former client of Smid's, said he was told that "it would be better if I were to commit suicide than go back into the world and become a homosexual again." In 2005, Smid tried to clarify those comments to a reporter from the pro-gay Memphis magazine Family & Friends: "I said, 'It would almost be better if you weren't alive than to return back to the life that you have struggled so much to leave.'" Toscano still has the 374-page LIA handbook that governed every day he spent trying to become heterosexual.
"Looking back, I see how brainwashed we were. We actually debated over whether we should stop," said Peterson Toscano, who lived at LIA for two years in the early 1990s and now helms an ex-gay survivors' movement. "On our way to work, we saw two cars get into an accident. They were ordered to drive straight to and from work without speaking to strangers. Those who worked in Memphis while living on the LIA compound had to navigate around a "forbidden zone" that covered nearly half the city, keeping them miles away from its handful of adult book stores. Since the goal is to rewire parent-child dynamics, LIA clients were forbidden to call their families. In much of the world of ex-gay ministries, same-sex attractions are thought to result from childhood sexual abuse or parents who failed to instill masculinity in their sons.
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To rid themselves of "unwanted same-sex attractions" they paid $1,000 a month, with some staying at the facility for years.Īt LIA, as it was known, staff would lead clients in group sessions to trace out childhood trauma alongside lessons in throwing footballs, changing motor oil and learning how to cross their legs in a manly fashion.
The majority of the young men who entered the program came from the kind of conservative religious upbringing where being gay is a sin that will cast a person out of church, family and home. For most of the past two decades, Smid's residential "ex-gay" program was known as Love in Action.
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John Smid has a high school diploma, a minister's license and five acres of land outside Memphis, Tenn., where he "cures" homosexuals. Psychotherapist Richard Cohen, a self-described "ex-gay" himself, demonstrates his "healing touch" therapy on CNN's "Paula Zahn Now." The appearance, meant to promote Cohen's method of "curing" homosexuality, was a public relations disaster.