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I experienced how a life could change when people stood for you and with you. For minoritized people, a lack of community and support can be lethal. In the Asian American community, anxiety and depression have spiked due to racism during the coronavirus pandemic.
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Black children are dying by suicide at increasing rates as they face a rise in the number of hate crimes in America. Forty percent of transgender individuals report having made a suicide attempt. In 2015, 4.5 times as many LGB-identified high school students attempted suicide compared to non-LGB students. There are statistics about how a sense of connection is essential for minoritized individuals. But, through this chosen village, I also understand how the power of community can heal.
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I’m trained in the science and the literature. Seven years later, I’m now a pediatric psychiatrist. These friends validated my identity and helped me unshackle the self I’d been hiding, or had been forced to hide. They taught me that being African-American and gay were beautiful aspects of my entire self, and that I was so much more than I ever dreamed possible. We stand as chosen family, one month before I leave Massachusetts to start medical school in Chicago. I don’t know it then, but what I learned from them will save my life in the years to come. We wear the button-up shirts and dresses of college grads, but on our heads, each one of us sports a tiara. Our hands intertwine our arms fondly encircle each other’s shoulders. On the steps of the pantheonic building where I attended college and graduate school, I stand with over a dozen close friends. On my phone's lock screen is a photo I draw strength from daily. The author in the Castro neighborhood of San Francisco.